


Scientist, Seamstress

by flightofangels



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Gen, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightofangels/pseuds/flightofangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade is a scientist. Kanaya isn't. Kanaya is a seamstress. Jade isn't. They both garden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scientist, Seamstress

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crockercorpses](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=crockercorpses).



Kanaya can do anything with a chainsaw.

It is her default problem-solving device. You are a scientist and find it fun to select a different tool for every single situation, as precisely as possible. Not Kanaya. This is the woman who, upon waking up and discovering she had personally solved the timeless puzzle of immortality, got out her chainsaw and went off to kill the man who gave it to her.

Granted, he was a pretty terrible guy who had also blown up the matriorb!! And you are almost entirely sure that is the entire reason she killed him. Kanaya does not exactly like to talk about it, and you get the feeling that she has told you more about it than she never has to anyone who was not actually there.

hey kanaya  
why do you think its ok to kill people sometimes  
Did You Try To Kill Jack Noir  
...yeah :c  
was that ok???  
Of Course  
I Think Murder Is An Acceptable Response To An Unforgivable Sin  
A Practical Problem  
Or Both  
thats a pretty good way of describing jack.......

So when a branch hangs precariously, so high that it almost runs into a third-floor apartment window, Kanaya does not think of whether a mere set of pruners or garden scissors would get the job done. She decaptchalogues her chainsaw and takes a number of steps back to get a running start before she leaps up to cut the offending branch in half, as the thin pink ribbon tied around her waist flutters in the air behind her.

-

She once cut your hair with a chainsaw. You had just mentioned repeatedly that it was a little too long lately, especially in the space equivalent of summertime like this, and a hassle to take care of anymore, and then one day while you were leaning just so to pluck some mandarin oranges, you heard buzzing and a soft sound and looked down to see your hair casting six inches' worth of shadow among the grass.

It is, you learn from her, possible to be multicultural without saying "fuck" a lot. She has only sworn once around you. When something bad happens to her, she only grinds her fangs together.

You think, though, that if she said fuck more, she would feel better. There was the time that she accidentally cut your foot off, as her whirring chainsaw blade tried to reach around your legs, and then just screamed as she threw the thing aside and waited for a clatter and waited for the lightshow. When it finally began to happen, and she cried out, "Fuck, Jade", she just sounded so goddamn relieved.

-

You go to her in the red version of your skirt with the stripes on it – the mirror of hers. You think you did that on purpose.

"kanaya i was wondering… what you think i should wear for my date tonight!"

You may or may not actually have a date tonight and honestly finding out would probably involve saying fuck a lot.

"Why Would You Ask Me In Particular  
"It’s a Bit Too Late For Me To Make You A Piece"

You fold your hands in front of yourself for a while. This is it, the big moment, and you feel more tension in your stomach than you ever have about wanting to kiss somebody.

"because you are my best friend, you know!"

You remember something Kanaya explained to you once-

_There are two types of trolls in the world. Ones who harm others when they see fit and ones who help keep that conclusion from being drawn._

You asked her which kind of troll she thought she was and instantly regretted it, because her face just – fell, her too-bright yellow eyes went narrow, she frowned, just offended or something.

And this is exactly the same except even worse, because it is the wrong-constellations outer space night analogue here, and she is even brighter in the forbidden dark, the only sort of would-be serial killer who sparkles, she is nothing but this reverse silhouette of yellow and white. It's worse because she had the excuse of gardening for her chainsaw being out, but now, after every plant has been tended to and every patch checked, she's actively _decaptchaloguing_ her chainsaw with no one around, nobody to notice a casual little god tier resurrection lightshow or to believe what you would have to say about sweet, kind, reasonable dowdy dearest _sane_ Kanaya—

She's holding your face in her hand forcefully around your chin, and you are looking into her eyes and realize you are so close you can see her still-silver irises. Her gaze is very intense, like you were feeling when you told her how you feel (well, that was about half a second ago, you are thinking all of this very fast), and you wonder if this is what it is supposed to be like in a troll romance movie. First sappy eyes then someone dies. You should be looking into her eyes and seeing that she _does not want to hurt you_ , but ever since you started thinking about how this is like wanting to kiss somebody except not, all you can do is look at her lips. They are very, very black, blacker than Roxy's, blacker than Rose's, almost as black as the furthest ring, and definitely blacker than the fabric of the Space outfit. She has these little fangs, which you know are pretty normal for trolls but look just like an Earth vampire's. She has told you before that human blood is not part of the rainbow she drinks, and that her favorite flavor of all time was cobalt blue but she never got to taste it because that would be an insult to the troll who christened Earth's blood color "candy red".

You are just thinking about who she will tell about this if not you because she tells you pretty much everything, when you realize the item that will end you is… perfectly normal Earth person-blood-red lipstick. She applies it to your surprised mouth flawlessly and then steps away to admire her handiwork.

"Be yourself," she says, "not your Sylph."

You continue to stare and gape like a dumb fish for five whole seconds before you just start _laughing_. You throw your arms around her so hard that you both fall over into a patch of flowers.

She really can do anything with that chainsaw!

**Author's Note:**

> Intended for a user named crockercorpses, whose... profile I can't find??? It's the name in my request email, maybe you changed pseuds... I had this outline for a while but didn't type it out until deadline night, couldn't get the HTML and upload together in time, and ended up defaulting, so I'm posting it now. I read your Ladystuck letter suggesting pale undertones between these two; the discrepancy between our respective views of pale romance roughly plays out in the story. It was fun! I'm sorry it had to go up like this. 8(


End file.
